Gimme A Break...

There are some things in life that I will be taking a break from. I'm gonna take a break from youth ministry. At first, it was hard, giving up something I've had a passion for since high school, but then I felt that it was time to strengthen my heart, to better prepare my self for this work. Now I feel a bit of both, not wanting to sit aside, but also wanting more from sitting aside. I love working with the youth, spending time with the guys from the group, one-on-one conversations, prayer and just loving these guys.

Being a youth leader, I have many strengths, one being how well I can connect with students, listening to them, loving them, prayer and compassion, reaching out and just having fun with them, connecting on a spiritual level. However, there are weaknesses that pull me down. One being frustration. Satan really attacks and uses my frustrations to bring out unhealthy attitudes. Although those times are few, its those times that students or other leaders may see something that isn't a healthy leadership. I really hate myself at times like those.

Now sitting aside and getting involved elsewhere, like a ministry with my peers, I feel that when I do return to youth ministry, that all my strengths will be there and more. Surrounding myself with college age ministry will bring forth more accountability and more peer-to-peer relationships. Having more accountability relationships may help with my frustrations and poor attitudes, along with other day-to-day struggles that I encounter. I do understand that it is God, who will help me with my struggles, but it is God who will be providing me with the right group of accountability friends that will care about me and love me. God is awesome! I can't wait to see how it all goes and what happens in the months to come.

Also, sitting aside from leadership, I'll find a more direct path of what God has in store for my life. I already feel God calling me to work with the youth. I have the passion, but what exactly does working with youth mean? Am I to be a small group leader? A youth leader connector? Am I to be a Sunday school teacher? A youth pastor? A youth camp counselor? Woship leader? If any of these things, what age? Jr. High? Senior high? 7th grade? 11th grade? Am I to even work with my home church? Or am I to travel half way across country to work with another youth ministry? I feel the call, but maybe I made the mistake of just jumping right into being a small group leader. Jumping into what felt right, verses what God say's is right. What is God's plan for me with youth ministry? I'll be feeding on this, diving deeper in his word, spending more time in prayer and just listening. To make God the main focus of my life, He is gonna to great things and point me to where, how, and who I'll be doing ministry with.

Another area I feel God has called me to, is missions. Wow, do I have a passion for missions work! I've seen God do pretty amazing things during mission trips. When I went on my first over seas mission trip to Peru in June of 2001, I have never seen God work like what He did the week I was down there. I know it was culture shock and everything, but the moment we walk into the church we were gonna be working with and meeting the people, I had this feeling inside that I've never felt before, my heart just broke for these people. I've never loved so much! Standing around, looking at all the this 3rd world poverty, a passion was filling me. "It is true that down in Peru(ville) that the Chunk's heart grew 7 sizes that day!" The first church service(while we were there it was during a celebration week and they had a service each night) our mission's team all stood up front and I'll always remember what happened next. Every member of that church(the small and the tall) formed a huge line and walked through welcoming us with love, hugging and kissing us, telling us "thank you" for coming down. There were probably around a hundred and everyone was so happy. Wow, I hated myself for what I was, a selfish American, so worried about what I needed and didn't need in life and then coming down to people who had nothing, but just filled with the love of Christ...I will continue this story later!

Wow, I just feel like writing about my first mission experience and I think I should continue, but the main purpose of entry was to let you know what's going on in my life right now and that it is best for me to just take a break from youth ministry and build more confidence and focuss for what God has planned for me in youth ministry and missions. Be in prayer for my life!

Thank you and Bye Bye Beautiful!